For you go well with ketchup....: Kestrel's Flight

The Most Wonderful Ever Boyfriend Replacement Kit

Teddy bear (large)

Something to snuggle up with. (Deluxe Edition comes with heated bear)

Silk

Another thing to snuggle with - also nice to feel against the skin.

Ice cream with whipped cream on top I don't know why, but it seems to be on the required list.

Punching bag

For those days when you've had it up to here^

Robot Book Carrier

Only available in the Deluxe and Gentleman Editions

A whip

So you can get the same results out of other guys (Note: whip is not guarenteed to work, Legion Merchandising Inc. is not resposible for any injuries caused by said whip.)

Boxers

Yeah... I don't know either.

1001 Topics of Conversation

Quotes: "Did you know that in Hong Kong they have pink dolphins?" "If humans had cheeks like a hamster's, they'd be able to carry 4 watermelons and still have their hands free."

Large Amounts of Sugar

To provide the same feelings of vague nausea in all your girlfriends. Also provides the sweetness in life that is normally given by a boyfriend.

A Small Furry Animal (rabbit or ferret, depending on model and availibility)

For intellectual companionship and "Awwww" moments. Also makes a nice stew.

An incorrectly labeled map

So you too can have an excuse for not asking for directions.

Dishwasher

For... umm... washing dishes. (Comes with Gentleman and Deluxe Editions)

Heater (with backrest)

Everyone knows that one of the main reasons for a boyfriend is warmth.

Heated Waterbed (Deluxe Edition only)

A nice warm bed to snuggle into. Pillows included.

Chocolate

Mmmmm... Chocolate. Need I say more? (Apparently I do. This is quality chocolate, the good stuff.)

Expensive Cologne

For that special guy smell.

Used gym socks sprayed with too much cheap, alcohol-smelling aftershave.

For that special guy smell.

A well broken in sweatshirt

Full of the "special guy smell" and it has been worn enough times to ensure that it's nice 'n warm (and takes care of the nasty bother of breaking it in yourself)

"Yes, Dear" Machine Taken from the incredibly successful "Husband Replacement Kit", the "Yes, dear" machine will automatically respond "Yes, dear" whenever the phrase "Isn't that right?" is called from another room.

Robot Juggling Prop Carrier

For carrying extra balls and clubs for when you forgot to bring some. Only available in the special Busker edition.