About time....

Greetings, one and all.

I'm not sure that Legion remembered to post that section where you get to tell us all apart. As I recall, he didn't. Oh well, wasn't the quote something about 'forgetfulness being one of the signs of a great mind'.
... maybe not. But I can definitely claim 'Tidiness is the last refuge of a desperate mind'. It may be noted that the only neat thing Legion and I tend to maintain is electronical.

I am however, unfortunetly, most off subject. Please excuse me.

As I decided that somewhere in this collection of ramblings there needed to be some veiw from the female persuasion. And so, here I am. Couldn't leave Data all alone. (Not that I get listened to any more often... just have a bit more in the way of active attention grabbing).

And so I say hello, and welcome.
I suggest you leave all hope of sanity here.

Why Posting in a Timely Manner is a Good Idea

@ "Note to the FooLish" was written, in part, to satisfy a promise to Strider. Today we realized that I'd forgotten an important note somehow. This must be corrected, to be sure. Which is why I'm posting this, the third in a series. Normally the others in Legion wouldn't let me post this many entries in a row (and I understand that Sabius has one that he wants to post), but they've made an exception for this one. So, without further ado, another note:

@ When attempting any new trick which involves kerosene, fire and a body part - for the sake of argument, let's pretend the trick is a hand transfer* - make sure you know what the trick actually involves before you start doing it. In fact, trying out the trick without the fire and the kerosene first is a good idea. Knowing what the guy who's teaching you the trick means by "fast" is also probably important.
@ As a side note, I have never done a successful hand transfer. I have also never been burned by fire torches...... JüggLer and CΐrKus do that sort of thing.@

FooL

* A hand transfer, as I refer to it here, is done as follows:

• soak 2 torches in kerosene. They actually need to be quite wet with the stuff.
• hold the two torches in one hand, with the wick ends point out horizontally, something like this:
  ,__u__,
  where ',' is the wick end (not lit), '__' is the length of the torch, 'u' is your left hand, palm down (the stick is your thumb). This is all seen from above.
• make sure that the kerosene can is well away and closed. This is a surprisingly important step.
• light one of the torches with the lighter you should not be keeping in your pocket, so that it looks like this:
  #__u__,
  for those who run at my speed, '#' means fire.
• now comes the tricky part, especially for my mediocre text art skills. Take your right hand (the one not holding the torches, and represented by 'v' because I don't know how to get a reverse 'u') and grab the torch which is not lit. This should get some kerosene and some nice black soot on your hand:
  #__u__v
• now take your right hand and grab the lit torch. Your hand should catch on fire right about now. Move your hand really fast and grab the unlit torch, lighting it on fire. By fast, I mean "really blazing fast". This is going to take several illustrations (the dashed lines in the second illustration are the motion lines, showing just how fast that hand is moving):
  
  v#__u__,
  
  ---v#
  #__u__,
  
  
  #__u__#v
• ...remove your hand! You'll burn yourself!
  #__u__# ϋ<- that's smoke coming off of your hand because you didn't move it fast enough.
• And that, folks, is a hand transfer.
  

Further Note to the FooLish

@ Oh, by the way - you know the guys who operate the backhoes? Yeah, they don't like it when you take their backhoes for a joyride.
@ Come to think of it, very few people like it when you take their vehicle for a joyride.... @

FooL

Note To The Foolish

'Cause the wise certainly don't need it.

@ If you're pruning a tree - for sake of argument, a pear tree - and you happen to be in this tree - in order to get to the upper branches, you see - it is a good idea to avoid cutting the branch you are holding on to. It is a particularly good idea to avoid cutting the branch you are using to keep yourself in the tree closer to the tree than your hand is.

@ While we're on the topic, I have some other notes which may be of interest. First, I know some people will think that I, in some way, did all of these and learned the lessons the hard way. That is not necessarily true. It might be, but it doesn't have to be. Goodness, you'd think I had no common sense or something, the way some people react.

@ Should you come across a snake in the middle of a path which does not seem to be moving for you, consider the reasons why it is not moving out of your way. After all, you're much bigger than it. It is preferable to consider this before you pick it up. It may be sitting there because it is in the last stages of digesting it's last meal, and may not feel inclined to move at that point. Picking it up, if this is the case, may result in the remainder of said meal ending up on one's hand.
@ Of course, another possibility is that this particular snake is extremely venomous, and doesn't see any real need to move out food's - I mean, your - way.

@ Should you decide - due to tornado warnings earlier in the day, the green sky above you, the wind picking up, and the deep black storm clouds in the direction of home - to not ride your bike home, do not immediately climb up to the top floor of a building with large antennas on top, into the room which is surrounded by windows. Do not do this even though there is one of the best lightning shows you've seen in a while. Getting caught up there during a tornado will not be fun. Nor will being struck by lightning while in the building.

@ Watching the shovel of a large backhoe come down and remove dirt from the hill 5 cubits in front of you is an amazing experience. However, think carefully about a) whether you are allowed to be this close to a major construction site and b) whether the operator of said backhoe actually knows you are there. After all, he likely will not notice anything different should he, say, pick up your foot with the backhoe and leave the rest of you behind.
@ I suppose the other thing to think about is whether, with point a and b fulfilled, do you actually trust the operator to avoid picking you up, in pieces or whole as the case may be. I'm not sure I'd be able to resist the temptation, but that's just me.
@ Furthermore, while on or near construction sites, remember: staring in awe at the large truck will not stop it from backing up into you, and while walking under a ladder is considered bad luck, walking under the trough of a cement mixer is considered dumb.

@ Well, those are all of my current observations. I am quite sure I missed a few, perhaps including some that I promised would be in here, but that's what I get for delaying my post by 3 months.

FooL