Non-Reproducable Experiments

@ So it turns out that 6 out of 8 young children will accept a cookie from a complete stranger. This suggests a deplorable lack of proper training of the next generation. I must say that I am quite appalled.

@ For those of you who, like Sabius, are getting upset with me at the above statement, yes, the experiment was conducted with a number of different types of cookie to ensure that it was not biased. This may have led to an increase in the number of children who accepted, since they were asked to take whichever type of cookie they like, but it is felt that the results are still valid.

@ For those of you who are getting even more upset, neither time nor money was wasted on getting many different kinds of cookie. This experiment was conducted in the grocery store, so the cookies were all readily available. And since the packages never left the store, no money was wasted. In fact, it is doubtful that even the leftover cookies were wasted, as the packages were returned to the proper shelves, and were most likely bought by the next customer who wished a half package of cookies. All around, very little was wasted.

@ In a related study, grocery store employees get unaccountably upset when you offer them a cookie. More research should be done into this phenomenon.

@ In other news, it has been determined that the streetlight (see previous posts) is not able to sense my approach, nor anyone else's. It simply cycles through a steady "on-off" sequence, with the "on" part being longer. A pedestrian walking beneath the light stands a much greater chance of encountering it when it is in an 'on' stage. The 'on' stage lasts approximately the amount of time it takes for a pedestrian to get from "almost beneath the light" to "just past the light", which means that it invariably goes out when the pedestrian feels that they were "right under the light". This causes the famous "creepy" feeling.@

FooL

** None of the above experiments (with the exception of the streetlight) has actually been preformed, at least to my knowledge. If you do know of someone doing this, please let me know. In other news, I am not going to Venezuela next week, so there won't be any interruption to this blog.

Careful what you wish for

@My landlord/housemate wants me to get her a microwave. Specifically, a nice red microwave that can be found for $50 at Walmart (we will ignore for a second that I am boycotting Walmart) which will go really well with the decor in the house.

Unwise Microwave Oven Experiments

I think I agree with her. I'll pick one up next weekend.@

FooL

Can you tell I'm procrastinating?

@ OK, quick update before the main point of this post. Basically, it was decided that April was going to be a continuous "FooL's day". This was decided back on April 1st, but it's turned out that April was a lot more hectic (heck, life has turned out to be a lot more hectic) than planned. Thus, there haven't been many posts.

@ One of the things that have been making my life hectic is that I had to go for an IQ test. The results finally came back, and the good news is that they're negative. The bad news is that apparently they want to do more testing.

@ Anyway, the thing that inspired this post was the following thought: What would it be like to be a telemarketer and call up someone like Mother Theresa? Or Ghandi, or St. Francis? Someone who is famous for giving up most of the stuff in their lives. Here you are, trying to sell encyclopedias or accordions, and they don't even have a second shirt. What would you do? How would you react? How would they react? Would they just say "No, thanks. I'm too busy taking care of the poor to learn to play the accordion" "I don't think your encyclopedias would fit in my house, and they would probably fall apart pretty quickly due to the conditions here" "I don't believe we have any ducts. We don't even have heated water."? Or would they try and convert the telemarketer to their way of life? Would they say "Accordions are the instrument of the devil! Sell harps instead!"? (Somehow I doubt it...) In some ways, I guess the question I'm asking is: How does one act in love towards a telemarketer, who in some ways plays the role of a leper in modern day society?

@ To my friends out there who read this and happen to be atheist or agnostic, I ask you to pardon the fact that a large number of the posts here end up, in one way or another, coming back to God, religion, or similar topics, even when it's a light hearted, random post. It's something that's been on my mind a fair amount, and tends to be important to me, so I won't apologize. Feel free to ask questions or comment about it - helps me to think more clearly about these subjects, rather than run around in circles over the same topics. <- This is probably the most serious you will ever see me... ooh look, shiny fish! @

FooL

Moving Again

Sorry guys. Things have come up, and in all good conscience I had to move my site again. I couldn't continue living this double life anymore. The new blog is here.

Why Posting in a Timely Manner is a Good Idea

@ "Note to the FooLish" was written, in part, to satisfy a promise to Strider. Today we realized that I'd forgotten an important note somehow. This must be corrected, to be sure. Which is why I'm posting this, the third in a series. Normally the others in Legion wouldn't let me post this many entries in a row (and I understand that Sabius has one that he wants to post), but they've made an exception for this one. So, without further ado, another note:

@ When attempting any new trick which involves kerosene, fire and a body part - for the sake of argument, let's pretend the trick is a hand transfer* - make sure you know what the trick actually involves before you start doing it. In fact, trying out the trick without the fire and the kerosene first is a good idea. Knowing what the guy who's teaching you the trick means by "fast" is also probably important.
@ As a side note, I have never done a successful hand transfer. I have also never been burned by fire torches...... JüggLer and CΐrKus do that sort of thing.@

FooL

* A hand transfer, as I refer to it here, is done as follows:

• soak 2 torches in kerosene. They actually need to be quite wet with the stuff.
• hold the two torches in one hand, with the wick ends point out horizontally, something like this:
  ,__u__,
  where ',' is the wick end (not lit), '__' is the length of the torch, 'u' is your left hand, palm down (the stick is your thumb). This is all seen from above.
• make sure that the kerosene can is well away and closed. This is a surprisingly important step.
• light one of the torches with the lighter you should not be keeping in your pocket, so that it looks like this:
  #__u__,
  for those who run at my speed, '#' means fire.
• now comes the tricky part, especially for my mediocre text art skills. Take your right hand (the one not holding the torches, and represented by 'v' because I don't know how to get a reverse 'u') and grab the torch which is not lit. This should get some kerosene and some nice black soot on your hand:
  #__u__v
• now take your right hand and grab the lit torch. Your hand should catch on fire right about now. Move your hand really fast and grab the unlit torch, lighting it on fire. By fast, I mean "really blazing fast". This is going to take several illustrations (the dashed lines in the second illustration are the motion lines, showing just how fast that hand is moving):
  
  v#__u__,
  
  ---v#
  #__u__,
  
  
  #__u__#v
• ...remove your hand! You'll burn yourself!
  #__u__# ϋ<- that's smoke coming off of your hand because you didn't move it fast enough.
• And that, folks, is a hand transfer.
  

Further Note to the FooLish

@ Oh, by the way - you know the guys who operate the backhoes? Yeah, they don't like it when you take their backhoes for a joyride.
@ Come to think of it, very few people like it when you take their vehicle for a joyride.... @

FooL

Note To The Foolish

'Cause the wise certainly don't need it.

@ If you're pruning a tree - for sake of argument, a pear tree - and you happen to be in this tree - in order to get to the upper branches, you see - it is a good idea to avoid cutting the branch you are holding on to. It is a particularly good idea to avoid cutting the branch you are using to keep yourself in the tree closer to the tree than your hand is.

@ While we're on the topic, I have some other notes which may be of interest. First, I know some people will think that I, in some way, did all of these and learned the lessons the hard way. That is not necessarily true. It might be, but it doesn't have to be. Goodness, you'd think I had no common sense or something, the way some people react.

@ Should you come across a snake in the middle of a path which does not seem to be moving for you, consider the reasons why it is not moving out of your way. After all, you're much bigger than it. It is preferable to consider this before you pick it up. It may be sitting there because it is in the last stages of digesting it's last meal, and may not feel inclined to move at that point. Picking it up, if this is the case, may result in the remainder of said meal ending up on one's hand.
@ Of course, another possibility is that this particular snake is extremely venomous, and doesn't see any real need to move out food's - I mean, your - way.

@ Should you decide - due to tornado warnings earlier in the day, the green sky above you, the wind picking up, and the deep black storm clouds in the direction of home - to not ride your bike home, do not immediately climb up to the top floor of a building with large antennas on top, into the room which is surrounded by windows. Do not do this even though there is one of the best lightning shows you've seen in a while. Getting caught up there during a tornado will not be fun. Nor will being struck by lightning while in the building.

@ Watching the shovel of a large backhoe come down and remove dirt from the hill 5 cubits in front of you is an amazing experience. However, think carefully about a) whether you are allowed to be this close to a major construction site and b) whether the operator of said backhoe actually knows you are there. After all, he likely will not notice anything different should he, say, pick up your foot with the backhoe and leave the rest of you behind.
@ I suppose the other thing to think about is whether, with point a and b fulfilled, do you actually trust the operator to avoid picking you up, in pieces or whole as the case may be. I'm not sure I'd be able to resist the temptation, but that's just me.
@ Furthermore, while on or near construction sites, remember: staring in awe at the large truck will not stop it from backing up into you, and while walking under a ladder is considered bad luck, walking under the trough of a cement mixer is considered dumb.

@ Well, those are all of my current observations. I am quite sure I missed a few, perhaps including some that I promised would be in here, but that's what I get for delaying my post by 3 months.

FooL